An Unusual Call

When was the last time you received a call from a stranger, and before you wanted to tell the voice on the other side, with your irritation betrayed – “wrong number”, there is persistence in the tone, that says “ wait! No, it’s not what you think, I really want to talk to you.” “You do not know me...I know you...don’t hang up.”


When was the last time you received a call, and the voice says, “I know it sounds strange, but I have been meaning to call you up, ever since you sent out that email...before you left the company”. You begin to wonder, now, "is there any defamation case against me". "Which mail? What did I ever say in it? Did I call foul to someone there?" You do not want this call to be a hoax of somekind!

When was the last time you received a call to say, “I have gone through your email, many times over the past few months, when I have been blue. This email has always made my blue disappear. It has given me a strength to follow a path that most dare not tread...like you have done”.

When was the last time you received a call to say, “I must meet you. To know the real you. To let you know that you have touched my life, in ways unknown to you.”

Well, there was (is) no FIRST time. There was (is) no LAST time! Really.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Bhakti,


Thank you, for giving me the First of the pleasant jolt: that a simple email that I sent could have touched you. Your phone call that summed up all the above, came at a time, when I myself was in a pensive mood – examining my life –“pinned” to a board, dissecting the inns of my being.

Thank you for allowing yourself to finally make the call. Because, there would be no way to know if I had stirred a soul.


Thank you for allowing me to go back to my own simple dreams that I had painted in that email.

Thank you for reading aloud the words that I had in my own written. Thus making it yours.

Thank you for re-nurturing the eternal cravings I have for life, like I do when craving for apricot and cream in the middle of the night.

Thank you for allowing me to go back to my email. I spent an hour digging it out from forgotten archives. It was like emptying a box full of paper cuttings that you preserve, thinking you will read it again. But that day never comes, and the paper turns yellow!

Thank you, for making a memory possible.

Thank you for allowing me to NOT give up on my simple hope – to be able to gather as much as I can.

I just felt, momentarily, a little tired gathering. Your call made me stand up. It helped me ease my shoulder that soon after the call, I could get back to gathering. Wearing a smile. Allowing a miracle to linger – a little while longer.


Because, I know that this is nothing short of a miracle. To have a silent soul, somewhere, call me – to risk not finding a true to word person.

Thank you for allowing me to go back to my vows – to read this again. To know that this is exactly what I feel today. Now.

This is to you, Bhakti.
With Love,
The Bohemian.
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~------


These where my last words of a last world I left behind:

Dear All,

Twilight lays out another day of dawn. When the sun nose-dives into the horizon on 15 October 2009, I would have logged out of the Cisco account.
This ending for me one journey, only to traverse into another – on a road less travelled on.

The egalitarian principles of life will be lived, this time through my social-NGO work, thus intervening into the world of culture and intellectual deliberation, with a hope of an equal world.

They say that the heart that gives, gathers. I would want to gather as much as I can, knowing that sometimes in the winds of change, we find our direction.


As I say “so long…” there is a lingering presence of pleasant memories of discovering, knowing, seeking, and making the best of friends from across the rainbow colored zones, locations, and geographies that crisscross time and space.

And, when I have set forth, I’ll take solace from the most beautiful lines of Richard Bach:

"Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends".

To you all,
Fare thee well…
Cheers,
Lavanya

Reach me at: Lavanya.devdas@gmail.com
Say a hello on: 91- 9845051335


"Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadow" – Helen Keller


~~~***~~~~

Fetal Movement

~~~

I toss the pillows

The bed cover creases

Tossing and turning

Agitated discomfort

The baby in the womb

Lay protected

Kicks. Hard

The fetal movement

Sends ripples through and through

The heart and soul

The fetal kick

I toss

The creases eases

The womb, the liquid swirling

Contractions. Movement.

The quiet groan of an unborn child

~~~*~~~

Quiet

I enter the quite cold house
Of pink walls splashed in uneven paint

A patch of wet wall allows fungus to pitch green

The walls cold and quite

I walk into silence

Not sure if I can hear someone speak

Mutter, rattle

I am not sure if it’s my mind speaking loud

To the staring walls – pink and mossy

The phone lies on the bed

Cold and quite

It’s stopped ringing for long

I do not know how long

As long as long

Not a message

Not a trace of an attempt to communicate

I have waited

But none

No enquiries, no clichés

Sweet nothings none

No monotonous drone

No exited tales of suspense and wonder

Quite

~~~~**~~

The Train Journey

Tracks that go to distant places
Past. Future

Parallel the roads and pavements

In straight lines

Crooked lines. All lines

Thoughts and events

Lay parallel

Winding each to each

Into a maze of indefinable thoughts and circumstances

The subconscious contradictions

Wishes. Events. Desires. Emotions.
Regret undone.

The test does not lack any

Half hearted intensity

The tracks live on

Non-animated

The tracks live through

Trains of destination

One at a time. Constant

In succession.

~~~~***~~~

Dieing

I question the same question
Since Adam and Eve

I question the breath

I question to listen frantically the answer

If I can hear a whisper

The question of death

When living

The most alluring

The mysterious, the un-captured truism

I question of the only

When living

Not of life

Life I live

Death will I live

To know to feel the bare hug

The intimacy, the passion, the closeness

The breath. The death.

~~~*~~~

Scares Sore

~~~*~~~

Scares sore
Seep, with delicate trickle

Quivering, tickling

I sleep with open wounds

Mother told me ‘Never’

A curse – you will perish like the wound that scales

In my heart

You will be just there. No where.

I sleep

Nightmares circling

Momentous whirlpool

Voices of mother prophesying

You will degenerate

Unkempt, scabbied

Old, haggard, house flies droning playing a merry game

Around the trickling sore

I lay

Like a thin, abandoned, cobweb

Hanging from a haunted house

Obscure of human contact

Voices echo a whirlpool

In chronology

Of penultimate events

Prophesies of doom

Mother

I am

I will be

I exist

Caught in insanity like a common cold

Running nose

No sanity can redeem you

Bacterial infection infectious

I sleep

Souring puss

Oozes through the bedding

Leaving marks of virgin stains

Stains

Trickle from my face

Arms breasts

Stomach vagina

Voices echo

Mother I cry

I cry for innocence

I cry against the bleeding, the rupture, the stain, the sore

Mother I cry

The prophesy turned true

Sleep befalls the souring eyes

You will perish

Mark my words

A faint frail woman ghostly

Appears and disappears

In the trickling caverns

~*~*~

The Passing Year. Another to Unravell.

~~~*~~~
MAY BE…
~~~

MAY BE…we were supposed to meet the wrong people
before meeting the right one so that,

 when we finally meet the right person,
we will know how to be

grateful for that gift.

MAY BE… it is true that we don't know
what we have until we lose it,

but it is also true that we don't know

what we have been missing until it

arrives.

MAY BE… the brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;

after all, you can't go on

successfully in life until you let go

of your past mistakes, failures and

heartaches.

MAY BE… you should hope for enough

happiness to make you sweet enough,

trials to make you strong enough,

sorrow to keep you human, and

enough hope to make you happy.

MAY BE… the happiest of people

don't necessarily have the best of

everything; they just make the most of

everything that comes along their way.

MAY BE… the best kind of friend is

the kind you can sit on a porch and

swing with, never say a word, and then

walk away feeling like it was the best

conversation you've ever had.

MAY BE… happiness waits for all

those who cry, all those who hurt, all

those who have searched, and all those

who have tried, for only they can

appreciate the importance of all the

people who have touched their lives.

MAY BE… you should do something nice

for someone every single day, even if

it is simply to leave them alone.

MAY BE… there are moments in life

when you miss someone -- a parent, a

spouse, a friend, a child -- so much

that you just want to pick them from

your dreams and hug them for real, so

that once they are around you

appreciate them more.

MAY BE… giving someone all your love

is never an assurance that they will

love you back. Don't expect love in

return; just wait for it to grow in

their heart; but if it doesn't, be

content that it grew in yours.

MAY BE…you should dream what you

want to dream; go where you want to

go, be what you want to be, because

you have only one life and one chance

to do all the things you dream of, and

want to do.

May the New Year be made of these realizations

~*~*~

May the New Year bring with it the goodness of life,

the grace of love,

the treasures of Health.

May each day of the year be filled with the Hope

of a

Better Tomorrow.

~*~*~*~