Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Rain Drops of Nostalgia

The sun has risen, but not in the sleepy little town of Mangalore. No golden rays in sight. The morning does not feel morning – though you know it is, because the rooster cried out its morning wakeup call, fluttering its wings. My neighbor would have said, “I’ll sleep a little longer”. I hear the cuckoo crying out from the jackfruit tree that stands next to my bedroom window. I know she has woken up with her mate, and hear them sing, each to each.

The sun will not shine bright for sometime now – because the rain gods have rumbled their way through. Twilight has intermingled with the pregnant clouds that will break into a rich, overflowing shower. Anytime. The wind blows hard. I am at the window, looking out at the garden. The voices of nature can be heard in its pure rustic form -Only if you wish to hear her. You need to listen. Allow your heart to beat softly and tell your mind to stop nagging you with persistent thought.

History Woven around a Betel Tree


I look at the guava tree that is plentiful with half-eaten guava. The fruit bats have had their full in the wee hours of the midnight hour, so it seems. Next to it is the perennial pepper vine that has crisscrossed through the areca nut tree. It has done so for ages now – a common sight seen here in Mangalore that has lived on to tell a tale, of the centuries of spice trade that flourished through the Malabar region, long before the Age of Exploration around the 15th Century that spurred the ruthless desire to discover “new worlds”. The journey of the pepper and its mighty voyage across the oceans to the west and beyond in the middle ages is a tale of wonder. I see this fragment of wonder, history, exploration, colonization and discovery of new lands just through looking out of my window! Mangalore did have a spot in the world trade in pre-historic times. The link to such a past runs through centuries woven around the betel tree!

Rain Falling on Tiled Roof

I catch myself staring out of the window, realizing I have been daydreaming. The rain lashing on the tiled roof (also called Mangalore tiles) shakes me up. I love it when it rains. It is so “Manglorian”. I love the smell of the earth when, on a hot sultry day, the earth mingles with the sacred drops from heaven, giving out the aroma of ecstasy. The rain hits hard on the tiles and cascades down the roof in steady stream. The earth is socked with the rain that has now gained intensity. The steady pour will last for long- may be for days on end too. The water from the roof begins to find its path – and I am reminded of the little paper boats we would make as children and allow the boats to sail through the stream of water.


Sailing Paper Boats

The only thing I knew in crafts was to make paper boats! Our books would be torn to the last page as we tried to engineer building the biggest boat! It would often be that the bigger boats would sink sooner than the smaller ones, as it maneuvered around dry leaves and twigs coming its way!

The Birds of the Rains

I close my eyes to listen. The notes of nature fill my little room. You do not need to go to a bird sanctuary to hear the singing of the birds. You get to hear the quite notes of the Red Wattled Lapwing. The Red Wattled Lapwing has often been my company, when I have often wandered to the quiet hill next to my house. This little hill has often come to my rescue meeting my desire to be close to the clouds. Most of my prodding has been done sitting on the huge black rocks, staring across the far away lush green hill. I greedily come to it as it is one place in the world that gives me serene comfort

You not see the Myna flock together, the rare Brown Headed Barbet, the Magpie Robin sitting on the clothesline (locally called Madalle Pakki), and then the sprinting Woodpecker heard long after he has whoosh passed you. The Woodpecker is seen pecking at the old coconut tree that lives on merely because the Woodpecker visits her often. We never had the heart to bring down the tree, and thus it lives on knowing it has the pecker as its company!

If you are lucky, you could spot the Golden Oriole that shows off its golden yellow through lush vegetation! This is worth every string of daydreaming!


Then there is the Ring-necked Parakeet who sits on the mango tree, looking at the Babbler (called in Tulu as Bejakre Pakki) seen under the jackfruit tree, ruffling the dry leaves with its petit legs. The majestic red-eyed Coucal (sometimes-called Kupul) is seen with a reptile in its beak. You need be a keen observer to catch the Coucal swooping down to catch its prey. The cry of the Coucal is haunting to say the least. This sight often reminds me of the rare fights of the mongoose and snake chase that we as kids would have seen ever so ones in a while!

Pit-a-Pat Says the Rain

The pit-a –pat of the rain is soothing. It’s almost dream like. The tapping of the rain on the coconut palm can take you to a slumber and lilts you to quite cats nap! If you have a kitty purring at your feet, you know its time to move from your window, and sit on the big rocking chair in the veranda and snooze, while nature goes its own way.

~*~*~*~*~

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Monologue

I wish to create a new world order for myself
For my little dreams that lay treasured
In muslin cloth
Fading and ageing

As the age that’s faded
Move, continue from one to another

I wish to break free from that which holds me back
Affright
Of the unknown
There is a sudden leap of music
Blasts my ears
Compels me to sway hysterically
As it gains momentum
A frenzy fight

Reminded am I of the waves
That gush into power
Forcing, flinging, dashing and receding
And forcing and gushing again
With an equal intensity

Drawing and moving in giant leaps of gush
Throwing pebbles and sea weeds tangled

Pebbles smoothed
Time the caresser
The giver
The illuminator

---
I wish to break free
To conquer fear

Fear of living,
Fear of breathing,
Fear of defamiliarizing
Fear of regret
Fear of losing ground
Fear of not finding what I seek
Fear of loosing meaning
Fear of meaninglessness

The doors open
The early morning sun floods in
Wonder if the sun will rise tomorrow
They say it’s a truism

I wish I can think otherwise
Like the multitude before and after me
I wish my muted mind does not resonate the absurd

I fear procrastination

I wonder at all that people are
The fractured insecurities girdled like the never detached
Umbilical cord
The many motives driven towards manipulation
---
Do I tell myself its just one day
Get through this one
And then this one
And then the other

Does it end here?
Does it lead to another?
Like the circle of life

The circle of action and inaction
The circle of procrastination
The circle of inactivity
The circle of paranoia
The circle of lust

The circle of persistent thought
The circle of constant denial
The circle of a circle

One big circle.

Do I

~*~*~*~

Haunted

When darkness curtains
Time falls apart
Echoes haunt
My eardrums throb in tune with my pulses

My heart pumps
Darkness falls
Blood flows
Consciousness falls apart

Echoes
Hundred voices
Ghostly vibrations
Flickering thoughts

Battles wage
Blood bath and severed heads
Rolling
Hair locks entangled

Shadows run up the wall
Larger than life
Animated
Forceful

I plead for sanity
Madness let loose
A semblance of order
Not until darkness lifts

Zillion voices of history
In jarring rhythm
Echo in my ear
Enjoying the quickened drumbeats of my heart

Haunted
When night lays
In plumed bed of ecstasy
After the passionate love making

~*~*~*~*~*

Monday, September 21, 2009

The Train Journey

The tracks that go to distant places
Past and feature
Parallel the roads and pavements
In straight lines
Crooked lines, all lines

Bizarre thoughts and events
Lay parallel
Winding each to each
Into a maze of indefinable thoughts and circumstances

The subconscious contradictions
Wishes, desires, emotions
The test does not lack any
Half hearted intensity

The tracks live on
Non-animated
The tracks live through
Trains of destination
One at a time, constant
In succession.

~*~*~*~*~

Over The Great Boulevard

I fly over the great trees
Across the clouds
In gigantic leaps to capture the universe.

I fly over the great enclaves of nature
Over great boulevards
Like a free bohemian
Staring into the sun

I fly over the great rooftops
Of chimney smoke
Thrown up from magnificent edifice
Of fugitive fleeting

I fly over the asylum
Memory cobwebbed
A game of remembering and forgetting
Mesmerizing gossamer of the lost and the forgotten

I fly
To find
What I am
What I may be

I fly
To know
What you are
What you may be

I wake
I find no wings
I know the redness of the blood that oozes
From my clipped wings

I find
Trickling red drops
Blotching
Wings plumed to bloody scatter

Over the great boulevard

~*~*~*~*