Tuesday, March 29, 2011

If A Relationship Is To Evolve...

If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings!!

This applies to the relationship we share with ourselves too. The process of self-discovery is such. One grows. Out grows. Grows back-in. This is the cycle of living. Consciousness of the heart, mind, body and soul takes on several different languages every time. There is an end to one argument. The next one begins. Like the cycle of life and death.

To make oneself a “round” character visa vie a “flat” character in life, these ends are necessary. You grow through these ends. You see yourself anew. You peel the old skin. Tare it out sometimes, in the restlessness to wear a new garb.

You die several deaths. Your evolution is through these deaths. Through death comes realization. Through realization comes pain. Through pain comes letting go. Through letting go comes peeling. Through peeling comes a new skin.

Alive. Anew. You breathe. New beginning that ended the old. New narratives take new directions. Ideas germinate.

Memory sticks on. Memory makes who you are. Memory indicates how far you have walked. How your feet have cracked. How much blood it has spilled walking on every terrain of the earth. And in all the walking, you have taken the crooked paths that appear to lead nowhere.

The earth resides under your feet. The earth is in your heart. The earth pulsates in the mind. The earth girdles the soul from within.

The walking is merely metaphorical. Sometimes into the think jungles. Sometimes into the midst of desert dunes. Sometimes under cloudless skies. Sometimes to grounds where children play.

Crooked the journey, crooked your life. Crooked your life, un-plain your existence. Un-plain your existence, greater your memory. Your memory is your relationship.

And thus, if a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings!!

You can then have an epitaph on your tombstone that reads:
“Holy Shit! She lived her life!”
~~~*~~~

Friday, March 11, 2011

To Love Again

I must learn to love again
If I am to heal my heart
A heart pierced through the dagger of love
I thought was true

I must learn to love again
After the blood bath of betrayal
Splattered on the wall of pristine union
Body, mind, and soul

I must learn to love again
If I have to heal the hole in my heart
To close it with a risk of seeking love anew
To utter the reminiscence of what was pure

How can I help you love again?
How can I help you heal?
How can I assure you betrayal will not come your way?
How can I trust in myself, that you will be unwavering?

I must learn to love again
At the end of a long winter
Snow carpet of nothingness everywhere
Sunshine beams through the lose hem of curtains

I must learn to love again
At the end of the summer
Listening to the wind chimes
Lilt and play to sing along the delicate kiss of ocean wind

The pain could not be in my heart
Anymore
The mourning of pain is past its expiry date
The birth of love anew is gushed forth in ecstasy

At the end of spring
Daises and periwinkle have blossomed forth
Pain cannot reside anymore in my heart
I love, hold and smile to myself again

Pain cannot live in my body
Anymore
There is no evidence of canker festered
To love and be loved is my newfound world

I love again
To hold, cherish, dream, build and grow
To listen to the wind chime whisper on a starry night
Holding you tenderly is my new found religion









Friday, March 4, 2011

Ephemeral World

In the ephemeral world of constant change
Despite the insecurities
Despite the uncertainty
Despite the knowing and unknowing
Despite the movement of one against each other
Despite the difficulties of change
Despite the fear of longing
Despite the dread of giving and taking away
Despite the pangs of letting go
Despite the agony of uncontrolled tears
Despite the change of seconds, minutes, hours, months and years
Despite the crying for myself and the earth that bore me
Despite the fear of losing a fantasy of fantastic tales woven that could be
Despite the stillness
Despite the change
Despite the possibilities
I stand in this ephemeral world

I stand
Tilting
Rocking
Lilting
I begin and end
Begin again and then begin again
Changing, raising, moving, stopping
Despite knowing that the world’s answers are not mine
I’ll walk despite each step anew
I'll walk despite the newness in each moment
I'll walk to meet myself
I'll walk the cycle of life. Birth. Death.
I’ll walk, placing my steps tenderly on the earth
I’ll walk finding my answers ephemeral
I’ll walk re-posing my questions ephemeral
I’ll walk to begin and end, raise and fall and rise again
I'll walk the joy, the calm, the knowing, the un-knowing
I'll walk the making
I’ll walk the ephemeral journey
Of meeting
I me myself you thy and then

I’ll walk with the certainty of one reality
Of ephemeral time, moments, space
People, place, acts, stillness
Through nothingness and then everything
I'll be the ephemeral

~~~*~~~