I want to lay down

I want to lay down
On my bed, with sheets crumpled
Pillows on the floor
Books flutter catching the breeze in dog ears

I want to lay down
And breathe my last breath
Of agony
To flood myself with the tears that slip from my eyelids

I want to lay down
Silent
Deep into the forest of nowhere
Where the trees block the sky to bury me with scattered autumn leaves

I want to lay down
On the river bed
Where sand rubs through my body
With every wave that gushes through me, I feel my skin

I want to lay down
Under the cloudless sky
Close my eyes, spread out my hands like the wings of the eagle
And dream of a flight from the cliffs into the wide expanse

I want to lay down
And drift into sleep
To smile like a baby lost in its dream of horses catching wings
In the green pastures where angels sing in silent whisper

I want to lay down
Breathe a calm
Not being shaken to the convulsion of a haunting nightmare
But see myself disappear into the cloud,  far far away 
~~~*~~~